Looking back in my life, I realize that God is gentle, caring, and patient. He is attentive to my needs. I also realized that I am slow to understand what God wants me to learn and I can be very stubborn. So the testimony I have today are truths the Holy Ghost testified to my heart over and over again throughout my life. It is hard to say when exactly I received my testimony of this gospel. However, I do remember a time when I learned a gospel doctrine to be true.
When I was about thirteen years old my grandma passed away by cancer. This was the first time, besides my hamster, that I had experienced death. I didn't understand what happened after death. It felt like I lost my grandma forever. I was devastated. I learned at church that we will see our loved ones again and that there is hope in the afterlife. During my dark and angry thoughts over my grandma’s death, I also felt hope. I hoped to learn and understand what I had been taught. So I knelt in prayer and pleaded with my Heavenly Father for understanding. I prayed to understand why my grandma couldn't see me graduate high school, get married, and see my children when all my older cousin were privileged to have her in their lives. I pleaded to understand His plan for me and to know why I was slighted in life. My angry prayers turned to sobs over months of praying and when I felt that I couldn't handle feeling such strong emotions anymore, I felt a sudden, calming peace fill my soul. For a sliver of a moment, I felt the presence of my Savior so very strongly and so very close to me. For the first time in my life, I knew that my Heavenly Father lives. That He loves me. That He is watching over me and that He is there to hear and answer my prayers. My Heavenly Father knew that I was sad to lose my grandma, but He understood my heart more than I did at that time. He knew that my prayers were in fact questioning my beliefs and faith. I wanted, for the first time in my life, to REALLY know and understand if the gospel of Jesus Christ was true. And He answered.
I know Heavenly Father lives and He loves us. I know He wants what is best for us and that He has a plan for you and me. I know He cares about us individually and deems our souls so worthy that He sent His only begotten son, Jesus Christ, to redeem us. I encourage you to take the time to find out for yourself. I know He is waiting for you to feel His love.
May you feel His love for you today.